Break Up Advice – Helping You Get Over the Break Up

Getting over a break up is one of the toughest things a person has to go through. That said, of course everyone wants to avoid breaking up at all costs. However if you are reading this the chances are that you have just separated from your partner or maybe you are thinking about whether you should break up or not. Here you will find help getting through this difficult period. There are six steps that you need to go through, which I will explain on this article.

The First Step: Initial Shock

The first thing you should do is to get your head on straight. Go over all the things that you felt difficult in your break up. There’s no point in trying to hide from them and bury them deep in your mind. If you do that, you will only find that they are bound to surface later on. It’s essential that you deal with everything that is bothering you. If you have someone that you can talk to, do so. Talking to someone you know is always better than just keeping your thoughts to yourself. This way you will get some kind of perspective to your thinking.

In some cases it might feel that there was no clear reason for breaking up. There always is a reason or maybe more than just one. It’s good to keep in mind that if your relationship wasn’t what you or your partner wanted, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to happen after all. I understand that saying it like that seems a little harsh but that’s just how it is. What’s the point of a relationship if neither one of you truly enjoys it? It takes only one person to put an end to a relationship, so even if one of you felt like there is nothing wrong, the result would still be the same. You would break up sooner or later either way.

Was your partner restless perhaps? Restless persons usually have problems in committing fully to a relationship. They tend to think that there is something out there for them that they haven’t discovered. The break up may come out of nowhere when your partner is like this. There may not be any other reason than it’s just how that person is. They can’t commit.

If you feel that you had something to do with your break up, you can try to learn from this experience. In your next relationship you can work on the things that you feel led to the break up.

The Second Step: Denying the Facts

At first it can be really hard to actually realize that this has happened to me. Why me, you might ask. It wasn’t supposed to happen to us.

The first thing you need to do is to stop loathing in self pity and sorrow. It’s not the end of the world, even though you might feel like it at the moment. I would suggest that if you have stopped all hobbies of yours and haven’t seen your family or friends; go visit them as soon as possible. The company of other people will make your life feel a lot easier. Actually, this is the best advice I can give you. Nothing will work better than normal everyday life in curing the wounds. For example, a rough work out at the gym will do wonders for you!

Getting over a break up is never easy, but just keep going and you will one day realize that you have truly moved on. For many people a new relationship is going to speed up the process. Though I’d like to remind you, don’t rush into a new relationship before you have gotten over your ex.

If you find a right person you could get over your ex a lot faster, but if you are still dreaming of getting back together with you ex, don’t do it.

But like I said, don’t spend too much grieving, the most important thing at this stage is to get up and try to move on with your life.

The Third Step: Let the Anger Out

After you have gone through this stage and have let the built up anger out, you will feel so much better. I promise you that. I believe that this is one of the key steps and after this step the healing process is going to be faster than the first two steps.

First things first, get rid of everything that reminds you of him or her. Get rid of the pictures, delete the phone numbers and every contact detail you have. Don’t use instant messaging programs to stay in contact. And if you use any kind of social media, delete him or her from your friends list. I think you get the point already. Don’t do anything that reminds you of the bad memories. Of course there were lots of good memories too, but you shouldn’t get too hung up on those. It will only make it that much harder for you to let go of the relationship entirely.

Talking with a close friend again is a good thing to do. Just remember not to pour too much on them. Try to enjoy their company as you normally would, and eventually you will forget.

The Fourth Step: Fear of Being Alone

Now we get to perhaps the most unpleasant step of all; the fear of being alone. I would recommend that you listen to your favorite music if you don’t usually listen to music much. Music has such a huge power that it can lift you up and help you go through these lonely times.

At first, being alone can feel intimidating. There’s always another view of things though, as there is to this also. You can view this period of your life as time that you can dedicate to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being single. It gives you a chance to do all the things that you wouldn’t have done when you were in a relationship. Feel like going on a trip around the world? Do it. You might just find the love of your life there. Now you have time to get to know yourself and learn to love yourself.

Many people suffer from low self esteem at this stage. Questions such as; will I find a new partner, how long will I be alone are bound to arise. I’d advice that you don’t stress on finding a new relationship in a while. Let it come if it comes naturally, don’t force it. The fear that you wouldn’t find anyone as good as your ex again, is unnecessary. You found him or her once, so you will do it again. Next time will be better though.

The Fifth Step: Avoiding Depression

Depression is one of the last things you want to happen for you at this point. Just when you are about to get over the break up, you start to feel worse. Don’t let it overcome you, stay active and keep doing your everyday things. If you however can’t help but feel depressed all the time you might want to seek help for this problem. I would say that the best bet now is to talk to a professional. Depression medication is never a good thing in my opinion. After you quit the medication you may not feel better at all. The change should come from your life habits.

Make sure that you get enough of sleep every night. I can’t stress this enough; a good night’s sleep will do wonders. The best medication against depression is exercise. After a nice sweaty work out your body will feel refreshed and your head clear as day.

Try and attend the social events that you normally would, even if you don’t feel like going. The company of other people is good for you. You don’t want to feel alone when you are trying to fight depression.

The Sixth and Last Step: Acceptance

You can give yourself a pat on the back now! You are finally going to be over him or her. Now is the time when you actually realize that it’s over. You may still have a lot of grieving to do, but now you are ready to accept the fact that you aren’t together anymore. Admitting it at first will be very hard to do, but when you do it you will feel relieved. Now you can move on with your life.

Acceptance can be the longest stage, but it can also be quite short if you have dealt with the other stages well. Usually when people think back, they tend to remember the happy times. It’s alright to do this to some point. If you find yourself doing this too much, remind yourself that the relationship wasn’t exactly what you wanted. It wasn’t all joy, that’s basically the reason the relationship came to an end. Once you admit these things to yourself, you will realize that it was actually good for you. It is now possible for you to start a new happier life. Getting over a break up is never easy, but keep hanging in there and you will do it.